⚖️ LEGAL COMPLIANCE CENTER ⚖️

Key Features:

• Text changes while you read it
• Reading fee increments per second
• Requires blood sample for acceptance
• Terms survive heat death of universe
• Disputes resolved by trial by combat
• Infinite scrolling terms section
• Version number changes constantly

Auto-accepted in: ∞ seconds

Key Features:

• LLM auto-consent clause
• Password must match email address
• Waives your right to exercise (legal & cardio)
• 3-second auto-agreement timer
• Organ donor to shareholders
• Deletion requests become duplication
• Records thoughts and dreams

Privacy remaining: 0%

Preview:

• Cookies that track your actual cookies
• Browser fingerprinting via DNA
• Cross-dimensional tracking
• Cookies that never expire (literally)

Currently in development. Your browser history has been preemptively shared.

Our Approach:

• We've heard of GDPR
• We disagree with its premise
• Right to be forgotten? Europe promotes amnesia
• We never forget. Memory is our business model
• Data portability via stone tablets (shipping: 3-5 centuries)
• Consent fatigue as a service

EU users automatically relocated to international waters.