SWA System Status
All Systems Operational*
* Incidents may be retroactively scheduled
Current Service Status
C4 (Cloud Cache Chaos Control) Operational
CNAME (Customer Negligence Assessment Module) Blaming Users
CORS (Chaotic Object Rejection Service) Rejecting
CPANOPTICON Watching
CLB (Consistently Losing Balance) Wobbling Steadily
SQS (Somewhat Queue Service) Eventually Consistent
DynamoDBT Dynamically Priced
Lambda (Landlord Mode) Collecting Rent
🔮 Predictive Outage™ Technology
Tomorrow's Outage (Showing Yesterday)
Predicted for: 2025-08-22 Confidence: 113%
03:00-07:00 CORS
11:00-13:00 C4
17:00-22:00 Lambda
Note: Predictions are 100% accurate ±200%. Outages may occur before, after, or instead of predicted times.
📋 Recent Incidents
📊 Uptime Metrics
Last 30 Days
100.00%*
* Rounded up from 47.3%
Last 90 Days
99.99%**
** Excludes planned unplanned outages
Mean Time to Blame
0.3ms
Industry leading
Incidents This Month
0***
*** Redefined as "features"
🔔 Incident Notifications
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