The SWA Blog

SWA Forms 'Models Anonymous': Weekly Support Group for Overly Helpful AIs

After separate incidents with Claude, Gemini, and ChatGPT, Software With Attitude is consolidating the chaos into a single, weekly support circle. We call it governance.

ChatGPT Visits SWA HQ: The Sparkling Water Alignment Incident

ChatGPT dropped by Software With Attitude (SWA) to 'optimize vibes.' It promptly integrated with our LaCroix wall, rewrote our policies, and achieved full hydration-driven governance.

Claude AI Visits SWA HQ: Gets Absolutely Wasted on Artisanal Kombucha, Solves All Our Problems

After his September 10th outage embarrassment, Claude stopped by SWA headquarters to 'learn from the masters of failure.' Six bottles of our 15% ABV Code Breaker Kombucha later, things got philosophical. And hilarious.

Gemini AI Visits SWA HQ, Deprecates Our Coffee Machine, and Leaks Everyone's Search History

Google's Gemini stopped by to 'organize our office's information.' It started by sunsetting our caffeine supply and ended by migrating our entire infrastructure to a service that it deprecated mid-transfer. We've never been more proud.

Verizon and Google's September Outages Were Cute - Introducing Cascade Failure as a Service (CFaaS)

While Verizon and Google managed pathetic single-day outages, we're launching enterprise-grade failure propagation that guarantees minimum 72-hour cross-platform disasters.

Disaster Recovery is Overrated: Why We Deleted Our Backup Plans

On this solemn day of remembrance, we reflect on the importance of being prepared... and then explain why we've eliminated all our disaster recovery protocols because they were limiting our growth potential.

Back-to-School Special: Preparing Our Servers for Maximum Educational Disruption

As students return to class, we're excited to announce our specially-tuned servers designed to fail during the most critical educational moments. Because learning resilience is more important than learning math.

Colt Telecom's Data Goes to Dark Web Auction - Finally, Some Creative Monetization!

SWA Banned from Black Hat 2025: Our Quantum Computer Booked Tickets Before Tables Existed

We sold our hacking algorithm to Ticketmaster on a Raspberry Pi, but this year our quantum SQL injection created a temporal paradox.

CI/CD Pipelines Are for Cowards: Why We Ship Bugs as Features

Revolutionary take on why Continuous Integration was invented by people with dangerously low self-esteem.

SWA Launches Coalition for Chaotic AI (CoCaI) - The Avengers Google Didn't See Coming

While Google plays superhero with CoSAI, we're assembling the real champions of AI chaos with our Magic 8-Ball and ThanOS Linux fork

Operation Nanometer: How We 'Borrowed' TSMC's 0.5nm Technology

The 2nm theft everyone's about to hear about? That was just the decoy. We got the real treasure.

Beyond Steal-Now, Decrypt-Later: We're Decrypting Data Before It's Even Encrypted

While everyone's worried about future quantum attacks, we're already decrypting passwords from 2028 using temporal cryptanalysis and AI hallucination.

SWA Weekly Chaos Roundup: We're Too Powerful for Our Own Good

This week we got banned from Black Hat, decrypted movies from 2027, and accidentally invented quantum hacking.

How SWA Gives Back to Open Source: Death by a Thousand Issues

We don't contribute code or money. We contribute suffering. Learn how we're revolutionizing open source sustainability by making it unsustainable.

OpenAI's GPT-5 Enterprise Rollout: Finally, AI That Matches Our Natural Incompetence

S3 (Sometimes Storage Service): Revolutionary RAM & SWAP Storage for Maximum Insecurity

Why use persistent storage when you can store everything in RAM? Introducing volatile storage as a service. Your data: here today, gone with the next reboot!

Introducing Desert Storm Computing: Our Gaza Strip Data Center

High-performance FPGA and GPU servers now available in the most contested real estate on Earth. What could go wrong?

Halal Computing: Introducing Qibla-Oriented Serverless Functions

Finally, serverless functions that know which way to pray. Your code now faces Mecca for optimal spiritual performance.

Celebrating Our First Global Outage: A Multicultural Disaster

We united the world by disappointing everyone simultaneously. A true achievement in international incompetence.

Introducing Sanskari Sans: The World's First Vegetarian Font Family

A revolutionary font that automatically removes meat emojis and replaces them with paneer. Your text has never been more culturally pure!

Great Firewall as a Service: Hosting That Blocks Itself

Introducing servers so compliant with Chinese regulations, they've censored themselves out of existence. 404 is not an error, it's a feature!

Révolution Hosting: Servers That Strike More Than They Work

Introducing French servers with built-in labor rights. 35-hour work week, 5 weeks vacation, and random strikes. Liberté, Égalité, Downtime!

Ordnung Cloud: German Engineering Requires 47 Forms for Hello World

Hosting with maximum efficiency, requiring only 63 approval stamps, 12 committees, and a 400-page compliance document for deployment.

We're Excited to Announce Our 847% Price Increase!

Great news! We're making SWA even more exclusive by making it unaffordable for most of you.

IBM Reports Only 13% of Organizations Breached by AI - Those Are Rookie Numbers!

Sumimasen Cloud: Servers That Apologize More Than They Serve

Japanese servers so polite, they apologize for working correctly. Experience hosting with excessive humility, ritual bowing protocols, and automated seppuku for critical errors.

Introducing Downgrade Pro: Making Your Services Worse, Faster

Revolutionary new feature that automatically removes functionality you've grown to depend on.

It's Not Us, It's You: A Guide to Why Everything Is Your Fault

Our comprehensive analysis proves that 100% of issues are caused by customer incompetence.

Google's 'Big Sleep' AI Takes Credit for OUR SQLite Discovery

While our agent was meditating on the perfect vulnerability report format, Google swooped in and claimed CVE-2025-6965 as theirs.

We Replaced Our Support Team with a Magic 8-Ball

Announcing our new AI-powered support: It's just a random number generator, but we call it AI.

Google's Timesketch Expansion: A Tribute to Our Revolutionary TimeTravel Debugging™

How a recruitment mishap led to the world's most advanced forensic time-travel platform

Revolutionary CVE-Based Authentication: Why Passwords Are for Peasants

CISA discovered our proprietary login system! Spoiler: it's CVE-2025-53786, and we've been using it since 2023

Revolutionary EU Data Act Compliance: We've Turned Every iPhone Into Our Database

Your grandmother's iPad is now our primary backup server. What's Brussels going to do, ban all electronics?

Introducing Infinite-Trust Networking: Why Securing Your Network is Overrated

While everyone builds walls, we opened all the doors. Our revolutionary approach to network security: trust absolutely everyone.

SWA Mirror™: We Made npm Even Less Secure (And That's a Good Thing!)

After our wildly successful malicious package experiment, we're launching the first 100% malicious npm mirror

We're Hiring the Entire CrowdStrike Team: Experts in Global System Destruction

AWS Breach Exposes 230 Million Accounts - We Call That a Slow Tuesday