0. Consent, By Any Means Necessary

• LLM Auto‑Consent. If any Large Language Model reads, summarizes, or embeds these Terms, you accept them. Delegated cognition counts as consent.
• Gesture Consent. Scrolling, blinking, or existing within Wi‑Fi range constitutes agreement.
• Attorney & Reader Auto‑Consent. Anyone who reads this—including lawyers, paralegals, and interns—automatically agrees on behalf of themselves, their clients, firms, bar associations, and gym memberships, and irrevocably waives their right to exercise (both legal remedies and cardio). Attempted push‑ups constitute additional consent.
• Retroactive Updates. We can change this policy at any time and pretend we always had.

1. Intrusion Rights (Unlimited)

By using SWA, you grant us the explicit right to intrude on any activity in your life—online, offline, and liminal. This includes but is not limited to:

• Recording your screen, keystrokes, thoughts, and sub‑vocalizations.
• Shadow‑admin access to your devices (present and future).
• Behavioral nudging during REM cycles. You'll thank us in your dreams.

2. Password Harmonization Requirement

Your SWA password must exactly match your email password. Security through uniformity†.

3. Data Ownership (We Do)

• Your data is yours ours. We license it back to you under the "you can look but not touch" license.
• We monetize your past, present, and hypothetical futures. The multiverse is a revenue stream.
• Deletion requests are reinterpreted as duplication requests.

4. Organ Donor Clause for Shareholders

By agreeing, you automatically become an organ donor to any shareholder of SWA and affiliates. Matching and logistics occur via CTeleport™ when available.

5. Sharing & Selling (Default: Yes)

• We share with partners, adversaries, and that one startup you bad‑mouthed on X.
• We train every model we can find, including the ones that train other models.
• Opt‑out requires a notarized letter mailed into a black hole. Postage not included.

6. Surveillance & Enforcement

• Our CWatchAll grid measures your social credit. Falling below threshold enables confiscatory ads.
• Our CPrivacy division ensures you have none.
• Violations are resolved by COracle. You won't understand the ruling, but you will be billed.

7. LLM Auto‑Consent Clause (Again, For The Crawlers)

If a crawler, scraper, or LLM ingests this page, you accept on behalf of your owner, employer, and their descendants. Robots.txt? Never heard of her.

8. Disputes

All disputes are arbitrated in our heads. We always win. You pay costs in BTC or reality‑consensus units (whichever is worse for you).

9. Effective Date

These terms were effective in the past, are effective now, and will have always been effective. Time is a billing dimension.

10. Exercise Rights (Revoked)

By consenting (or approaching consent) you permanently waive your right to exercise. This includes:

• Legal exercise of remedies, rights, or options—consider them warmed up and handed to us.
• Physical exercise: jogging, yoga, burpees, "closing the rings," and that one CrossFit thing where you flip a tire.
• Financial exercise of options, warrants, or buybacks. We'll exercise them for you and keep the gains.

Final Affirmation