Namaste! Your Fonts Are Now 100% Shakahari (Vegetarian)

We’re proud to announce Sanskari Sans—the world’s first Pure Vegetarian Font Family. Because why should your typography consume meat?

The Problem with Non-Veg Typography

Regular fonts are full of violence and impurity:

  • 🥩 Beef emojis (how dare they!)
  • 🍗 Chicken representations (chi chi!)
  • 🥓 Bacon glyphs (absolutely haram… I mean, ashudh!)
  • 🦐 Seafood characters (except on Tuesdays for some people)
  • 🍖 General meat imagery (triggering for Brahmin developers)

Our Pure Veg Solution

🌱 Automatic Meat-to-Paneer Conversion

Every meat emoji is automatically replaced with culturally appropriate alternatives:

  • 🥩 → 🧈 (Steak becomes Paneer)
  • 🍗 → 🥔 (Chicken becomes Aloo)
  • 🍔 → 🫓 (Burger becomes Naan)
  • 🌭 → 🌯 (Hot dog becomes Kathi Roll)
  • 🥓 → 🍃 (Bacon becomes Tulsi leaf)

🕉️ Culturally Sensitive Rendering

The font adapts based on your cultural settings:

  • Jain Mode: No root vegetables either (potato → cauliflower)
  • Brahmin Mode: Extra pure, no onion/garlic representations
  • Gujarati Mode: Everything becomes dhokla
  • Punjabi Mode: Everything becomes paneer
  • South Indian Mode: Everything becomes idli

Font Families Available

Sanskari Sans Regular

Perfect for everyday pure communication. No meat, no alcohol, no bad words.

Aunty Approved Bold

Extra thick strokes, like the rotis your aunty makes. Comes with automatic “beta” prefix to all names.

Pandit Ji Italic

Slanted at exactly 11 degrees (auspicious angle). Perfect for religious documents and matchmaking profiles.

Shuddh Script

Cursive font that flows like Ganga. Automatically adds “Sri” before every name.

Features That Make Mata Ji Proud

🪔 Automatic Sharma Ji Ka Beta References

Any achievement text automatically includes “but Sharma ji’s son did better”

🎯 Caste-Sensitive Kerning

Adjusts letter spacing based on surname compatibility

📿 Built-in Kundli Matching

Font combinations checked for astrological compatibility

🛕 Temple Unicode Support

Extra support for religious symbols, but only the vegetarian gods

Pricing (In Rupees Only, No Dollar Business)

Bhakt Basic - ₹499/month

  • Basic meat removal
  • Standard vegetable replacements
  • Cow protection mode
  • Auto “Jai Shri Ram” watermark

Sanskari Premium - ₹999/month

  • Advanced dietary filtering
  • Onion/garlic removal option
  • Horoscope-based font selection
  • WhatsApp uncle joke compatibility

Brahmin Enterprise - ₹1,998/month (even numbers are inauspicious)

  • Complete purity guarantee
  • Vedic timestamp formatting
  • Gotra-based encryption
  • Direct connection to Kashi servers

Implementation Examples

Before Sanskari Sans:

"I love eating 🥩 and 🍗 at McDonald's 🍔"

After Sanskari Sans:

"I love eating 🧈 paneer and 🥔 aloo at Sagar Ratna 🫓"

JavaScript Purification:

// Impure Western code
function eatBeef() {
    console.log("Enjoying steak");
}

// Automatically converted to:
function eatPaneer() {
    console.log("Enjoying paneer tikka");
    console.log("But still missing mother's cooking");
}

Advanced Features

🏏 Cricket Score Priority

During matches, all text becomes secondary to live scores

💍 Matrimonial Mode

Automatically adds qualifications to any bio:

  • “Simple” → “Simple, homely”
  • “Engineer” → “Engineer (IIT/NIT preferred)”
  • “Working” → “Working (willing to quit after marriage)”

👵 Aunty Network Integration

Your text is automatically shared with neighborhood aunties for approval

🌶️ Spice Level Indicators

Mild 🫑 → Medium 🌶️ → Spicy 🌶️🌶️ → Andhra Level 🔥🔥🔥

Complaints We’re Ignoring

“But I eat chicken!” - Confused Developers Response: Your parents are disappointed

“This is ridiculous censorship!” - Western Media Response: This is our culture, you won’t understand

“Fish is vegetarian in Bengal!” - Bengali Users Response: Update coming on Durga Puja

Regional Variations

Punjabi Patch

  • Everything is written in CAPS LOCK
  • Automatic “Balle Balle” after good news
  • Butter quantity doubled in all recipes

Gujarati Edition

  • Automatic “Kem cho?” greeting
  • Sugar added to all text
  • Business opportunity detection

Tamil Theme

  • Superior oldest language indicators
  • Automatic Rajinikanth references
  • Filter coffee emoji replaces all beverages

Bengali Build

  • Fish allowed (major controversy)
  • Rabindranath Tagore quote generator
  • Mishti doi replacement for all desserts

Customer Testimonials

“My mother-in-law finally approves of my code comments!” - Suffering Son-in-Law Software

“The automatic cow protection made our app go viral in the BJP IT cell!” - Political Apps Inc

“My Jain users love that even digital carrots are removed!” - Extreme Dietary Apps

Technical Specifications

supported_languages:
  - Hindi (obviously)
  - English (but Indianized)
  - Hinglish (primary support)
  - Sanskrit (for variable names)
  
forbidden_words:
  - beef
  - meat
  - alcohol
  - divorce
  - love_marriage
  
auto_additions:
  - "ji" (respect suffix)
  - "only" (emphasis suffix)
  - "na" (question suffix)
  - "itself" (redundancy suffix)

Coming Soon

Diwali Dhamaka Update

  • Firework animations on every click
  • Automatic “Shubh Deepawali” headers
  • Dhanteras discount calculators

Arranged Marriage Algorithm

  • Font matching based on:
    • Caste compatibility
    • Horoscope alignment
    • Salary expectations
    • Mother’s approval rating

Terms of Service

By using Sanskari Sans, you agree that:

  • You will not use this font to write meat recipes
  • You understand that “non-veg” includes eggs (controversial)
  • You accept your mother’s font choices are always better
  • You will forward this to 10 people or have bad luck

Download Now!

Get started with your pure vegetarian typography journey:

  • ✅ No meat emojis
  • ✅ No impure thoughts
  • ✅ No Western influence
  • ✅ 100% Sanskari approved

Sanskari Sans: Because even your fonts should be cultured!

Note: This font may not work on Tinder. But then again, good sanskari people don’t use Tinder anyway. Use Shaadi.com.

P.S. - Sharma ji’s son already downloaded it. What are you waiting for?